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I would loathe going to cremation grounds without a reason. In fact, I loathe going there even with a reason. But to go to a cremation ground with tourism as a reason? 

And this time, I was not loathe. Later that evening, poring over the blank screen at my computer at The Indian Express, I had nothing to file except my experiences with some Pakistani friends who were in Chandigarh to attend the World Punjabi Conference.

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

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“Newspapers always excite curiosity. No one ever lays one down without a feeling of disappointment.”
Charles Lamb, 1833


“Frankly, despite my horror of the press, I’d love to rise from the grave every ten years or so and go buy a few newspapers.”
Luis Buñuel,
Spanish filmmaker



“I often wonder what future historians will say about us. One sentence will suffice to describe modern man: he fornicated and he read newspapers.”
Albert Camus,
French novelist, dramatist, philosopher, 1956

Pakistan delegate’s tourist delight: cremation grounds!

S P Singh

Chandigarh 

"CAN I please see the cremation rounds?" Coming from a tourist, this was a highly strange request. But the interest was genuine. And as the tourist was a delegate of the World Punjabi Conference – whose biggest achievement will be to prise open a cultural window, so the brothers next door can peep through – the query was admissible.  

"How much does it cost to burn a corpse? What do they do to the ashes?"  

At Chandigarh’s Sector 25 cremation grounds, Imran Akram of the Lahore edition of Dawn newspaper was firing questions. This was the first time he had been to a cremation site. Also, this was the first time he had seen so many turbaned Sikhs in any town. Back in Lahore, a Sikh jatha’s visit was like a cultural event on stage.  

"Do girls wear skirts to bazaars?" asked freelance film journalist Tufail Akhtar from Lahore.  

The information gap has been so acute between the two Punjabs that people speaking the same language, singing the same folk songs and using the same four-letter words often seem little acquainted with each other’s lives.  

Many were surprised by the first thing that hits middle class families’ front door every morning – the newspaper. At Shivalik View Hotel, where the delegates were putting up, the former Director-General of Pakistan Information Ministry Izaz Ahmad, couldn’t peel his eyes away from the newspaper’ mastheads. And licked his finger to flip-and-count the number of pages twice.  

"This is unbelievable," he exclaimed, ruing that newspapers like Dawn, The News, Jung, Daily Express, The Nation, The Friday Times cost Rs 10-Rs 18 daily in Pakistan, keeping circulation low and quality journalism outside the reach of most. “News magazines like Herald cost Rs 100!” he exclaimed, flipping through copies of India Today and Outlook.  

"How much a family must earn to have two kids in a good school, a house of one’s own, and a car and a cell phone level of living?" Akram had phrased his query politely. But then to get the right answer, he asked – of course profusely apologizing – "How much do you earn, Sir?" 

Very often, delegates seemed satisfied at finding out that people had the same problems. Despite the scorching afternoon, many landed at the Rock Garden. "This is great," exclaimed Mohammad Abbas Mirza, a poet from Lahore. "Exchange it for Anarkali Bazaar," someone was trying to walk away with a bargain.  

"You still have pedal-rickshaws here? That’s sad," this was a Lahori’s view.  

This time the Indian friends didn’t retort.  

"It felt human to grant a point," he said. "But I presume it is okay to pull a rickshaw if you can vote and throw out a Prime Minister," the Lahori was in a generous mood.  

The Indian smiled. Both understood. Mutual understanding is what the World Punjabi Conference was about.  

Yesterday, the Chandigarh Press Club had invited the Pakistani scribes for a lunch. "Please ignore this talk about removing the borders. These are emotions. We do understand the realities," former club president Sarabjit Pandher said. "You can raise the barbed wire to double the height, but please keep the gates open," said a Pakistani journalist.  

The spirit, indeed, was of understanding.  

It was in this spirit that I could go to a cremation ground as a tourist guide.  

May 31, 2004

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There was a Chicago reporter named Buddy McHugh who believed it was highly unnecessary to cover an assignment in person if he could the information over the telephone. He didn’t care who he had to say he was to get the party on the other end to divulge the wanted facts. One day he called the residence of freshly slaughtered gangster and said, “This is Chuck Reynold’s of the coroner’s office.” “That’s funny,” said the voice at the other end of the wire. “So’s this.” McHugh was a character in Hecht and MacArthur’s hilarious The Front Page. He’s the one who called up a lady and inquired gently, “Is it true, madam, that you were the victim of a Peeping Tom?”

 

A London newspaper asked a noted British novelist and an equally distinguished American poet to record their choices of the ten most beautiful words in the English language. The British selection was: carnation, azure, peril, moon, forlorn, heart, silence, shadow, April and apricot. The American choice was: dawn, hush, lullaby, murmuring, tranquil, mist, luminous, chimes, golden and melody.

 

A poet came into the Doubleday office and asked, “What do you pay for blank verse?” The telephone operator had the proper reply: “Blank cheques.”

 
 
 

 

 

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People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news. But, if words were invented to conceal thought, newspapers are a great improvement of a bad invention.  Click on any below to find out:


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