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“Newspapers always excite curiosity. No one ever lays one down without a feeling of disappointment.”
Charles Lamb, 1833


“Frankly, despite my horror of the press, I’d love to rise from the grave every ten years or so and go buy a few newspapers.”
Luis Buñuel,
Spanish filmmaker



“I often wonder what future historians will say about us. One sentence will suffice to describe modern man: he fornicated and he read newspapers.”
Albert Camus,
French novelist, dramatist, philosopher, 1956

Now On At The Akal Takht 

Mother Of All Discount Sales

S P Singh

Punjabis love nothing better than a Discount Sale. In these times of a retail revolution, times when multi-storey malls are increasingly dotting the Punjab countryside, when the country's moneybags are eyeing Punjab's fertile lands to turn these into golf courses and high-rise penthouses, why should the top temporal authority of the Sikhs not be seen in a leadership role? 

So, lo and behold. Heavy Discount Sale has been announced. First such mega venture in the history of the world's youngest religion. Perhaps not even the Gurus had ever envisaged it. So there is nothing in the hymns against it. Come One Come All!!! All ye ex-communicated from the panth for any anti-Sikh anti-panth anti-Guru activities, the one golden never-before chance to walk right back into the panthic fold. “No punishment till January 13, 2007,” the offer tempts those gone astray. 

Ever heard of a 100 per cent discount sale? This is it. 

Such shenanigans come so naturally to those who ascend the highest pedestal on the temporal seats without the ability to shoulder the onerous task. Dhirmalias, Ramrayias, Meenas may all have been thrown out of the panthic fold by the Guru himself, but faced with the dire need to make the occasion historic, it is okay to invert the entire ethos of Sikh principles and history. It has to make news. The 400th year of the Akal Takht's history has to be marked by a controversy of a becoming ridiculousness. Hence the sale! 

Back in 2000, the Dhirmalia sect head in Kartarpur Karamjit Singh had hinted that he wanted the Dhirmalias to return to the Sikh mainstream fold, but the opposition from the clergy at that time was strong. Over the years few have dared to suggest something similar. Even minor transgressions by a granthi or a hymn-singer in a village gurdwara are solemnly deliberated upon by top clergy and invariably some punishment (tankhah) is pronounced. 

Newspapers in Punjab termed the ‘Gurmata’, passed unanimously in the presence of Guru Granth Sahib, on July 21, as “unprecedented”. Akal Takht jathedar Joginder Singh Vedanti, who read out the ‘Gurmata’ from the Takht’s rostrum, said, “Those who had gone astray ‘intentionally or un-intentionally’ from the Sikh fold could themselves avail of the special exemption given to them to mark the quadric-centennial century of ‘Miri Piri’ (foundation of Akal Takht).” 

Later, for the benefit of those jolted by the shock, Vedanti clarified that the ‘Gurmata’ was meant also “for all, including Nirankaris, who were excommunicated after the Sikh-Nirankari clash on April 13, 1978.” 

The innovative mass delivery justice dispensing system in India, called the Lok Adalat, is known for wrapping up cases lingering for years with minor fines and miniscule punishments. These courts can’t hear cases relating to serious crime. But the latest offer from the Akal Takht jathedar beats that. It comes with the inbuilt guarantee that there will be absolutely no punishment and a safe passage back into the panthic fold is granted. 

What debate has preceded before this unprecedented offer? Since when has the Sikh quom reached anywhere near a consensus about this “unprecedented offer”? We, as the youngest religion and as a people who find their identity frequently under attack from one or the other quarter, should be much more circumspect about such Discount Sales. People must bow before the top temporal seat signifying the miri-piri construct out of a conviction born from within, not lured by seasonal offers by any agents of a Merciful Providence.  

July 23, 2006

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People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news. But, if words were invented to conceal thought, newspapers are a great improvement of a bad invention.  Click on any below to find out:


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