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Circa 2002. Times in Punjab were farcical. The main opposition party, Shiromani Akali Dal, reeled under corruption charges, but was in a position to bring thousands to the roads daring the government to arrest them. Patiala-shahi Amarinder government had just bloodied its own nose by trying to interfere in SGPC elections and then finding itself on slippery territory. Prakash Singh Badal was confident after trouncing the Gurcharan Singh Tohra group in the SGPC joust, and was desperate to drum up support. Polity was getting bitter by the day. On November 27, Badal brought thousands onto the road with a single slogan – Arrest us.  The Government Royale of Amarinder Singh thought it has a trump card up its sleeve – the decision not to arrest anyone – and by evening both sides could claim victory. The people of course thought everything is being done with their welfare in mind. Here is a snap shot of the day, reported in The Indian Express. 

Next day, Amarinder savoured the piece at a party thrown by Ludhiana mayor Nahar Singh Gill at Mountview Hotel where his advisor Bharat Inder Singh Chahal was spotted praising The Indian Express piece as the most pro-Maharaja reporting of the event. Read the despatch to find out what well-meaning advisors are capable of reading into a piece.

 
 
     

 

 

 

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"Newspapers always excite curiosity. No one ever lays one down without a feeling of disappointment."
Charles Lamb, 1833


"Frankly, despite my horror of the press, I’d love to rise from the grave every ten years or so and go buy a few newspapers."
Luis Buñuel,
Spanish filmmaker



"I often wonder what future historians will say about us. One sentence will suffice to describe modern man: he fornicated and he read newspapers."
Albert Camus,
French novelist, dramatist, philosopher, 1956

Akalis crowds beg for arrest,
Govt injects shrewdness into polity

S P Singh

Agitational politics turned into a game of wits on Wednesday as thousands of Akali Dal workers led by Parkash Singh Badal swarmed district administration complexes across Punjab violating prohibitory orders and shouting slogans, offering themselves for arrest only to be stonewalled by a pre-meditated response -- ignore the hullabaloo and don't effect any arrest, then claim nothing much happened. 

So as Badal claimed 1.5 lakh were out on roads challenging the government authority, CM Amarinder Singh's mathematics said number of those arrested was still stuck at zero -- a sum he had reached in the morning itself -- and therein lay today's scene across the state. 

Leading an impressive crowd of Akali workers, obviously on resurgence after the SGPC victory, Badal pushed the line in Muktsar pressing the Deputy Commissioner and the SSP to arrest him and his activists after the milling crowds were ignored by the district officials and police for hours. 

Buckling under Badal's repeated pleas, DC Usha R Sharma finally announced that Badal alongwith nine others were being arrested for violating prohibitory orders. The local police even confirmed the fact in writing to Badal's NSG security guards, a mandatory requirement for them to pass on the responsibility for charge's protection. 

But within hours, Sharma mouthed a different line saying Badal was not arrested at all, leaving Akali feathers ruffled with the move aimed at cheating them out of big media publicity. Later in the evening, the chief minister himself claimed Badal and his retinue "were offered seats, given tea and snacks (and) left the DC's office at 5 pm."

While political observers underlined the government's rather adroit handling of the agitation with shrewdly planned tactics including even a red herring notification for temporary jails, compared to the aggressive interfering mode adopted during SGPC polls, Badal claimed the agitation was a "resounding victory and the government literally fled the scene." 

"Sensing a sea of humanity turning out against it, the government virtually ran for cover leaving the field free for Akali workers. This is unprecedented in the history of the state...Over 1.5 lakh workers came out in the streets to court arrest," Badal said. But Amarinder had a different ace up his sleeve: “In compliance with CM's explicit instructions, not a single individual was arrested." 

Red herring arrangements were rather methodical in nature -- government not only notified several jails, five of them in Muktsar, but also stationed tens of trucks and buses near administrative complexes to send signals as if major arrests were to take place. Even senior officials in districts learnt at the last minute about “explicit instructions” from the CM. 

Even as Badal couched his agitational politics in people's struggle lingo, the message's tone stayed clearly political. 

In Ludhiana, Akali workers felt disappointed though many were detained for some hours but then let free. No formal arrests were effected though a crowd of nearly 500 had gathered at Gurdwara Singh Sabha in Model Town Extension gurdwara. Among those detained for some time were MLA Inder Iqbal Singh Atwal, Avtar Singh Makkar, Amarjit Singh Bhatia, Sharanjit Singh Dhillon, Gurcharan Singh Grewal, Amrik Singh Aliwal, MLA Bhag Singh Mallah, Har Shavinder Singh Gill and Gurmel Singh Sangowal. 

Noisy scenes were witnessed outside the mini-secretariat complex as hordes of Akali supporters tried to force their way in. Traffic on Ferozepur Road was disrupted for a while. 

Jalandhar did not witness any major crowds as about 600 Akali workers turned

out for the jail bharo agitation, but authorities made sure no one went to the jail despite a two-hour long speech and sloganeering routine. SP Shammi Kumar did admit that 20 trucks and buses had been kept ready for transporting arrested Akalis, preparations officials made as they were in the dark themselves till this afternoon about CMO's instructions of no arrests. 

In Kapurthala, about 4,000 Akali workers had to return without being arrested despite a long sit-in by women SAD leaders Jagir Kaur and Upinderjit Kaur. In Fatehgarh Sahib, Didar Singh Bhatti and Gurpreet Singh Shergill led a 500-strong jatha whose pleas for arrests fell on deaf ears. 

Similar scenes were enacted in Amritsar, Patiala, Samana, Rajpura and many other places.  

Only days earlier, Amarinder's cops were trying to track down many a blue turban. Today, they wanted the swarms to fritter away.  

November 27, 2002

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When We Were Very Sore 

Dorothy Parker was dismayed to learn one day that, in a bid to promote her latest book, Enough Rope, her editor was planning to advertize her as "another A. A. Milne" (the author of such children's classics as Winnie the Pooh and When We Were Very Young for whom she had considerable contempt). By way of response, she composed a poem, aptly entitled "When We Were Very Sore":  

Dotty had
Great Big
Visions of
Quietude.
Dotty saw an
Ad, and it
Left her
Flat.
Dotty had a
Great Big
Snifter of
Cyanide.
And that (said Dotty)
Is that. 

(Sources: Dorothy Parker, Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker)

 

Winston Churchill: Preposterous Preposition

A critic once castigated Winston Churchill for composing a sentence which ended with a preposition. Churchill replied with a mocking note: "This is the sort of English up with which I will not put." Churchill later won the Nobel Prize for Literature (in 1953). 

(Sources: R. Kenin and J. Wintle, eds., Dictionary of Biographical Quotation)

 

 

 
 

 

 

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