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"Give me a quirky piece on Independence day. I need to add a clever element on the top of the page."

At times, I thought the editor was being unreasonable, but then I think these are exactly the pressures in journalism which bring out the best in you, or the quirky component of it. Spun out in a matter of 10 minutes was this piece in the newspaper’s edition which appeared on August 15

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	"Newspapers always excite curiosity. No one ever lays one down without a feeling of disappointment." Charles Lamb, 1833 "Frankly, despite my horror of the press, I’d love to rise from the grave every ten years or so and go buy a few newspapers." Luis Buñuel, Spanish filmmaker "I often wonder what future historians will say about us. One sentence will suffice to describe modern man: he fornicated and he read newspapers." Albert Camus, French novelist, dramatist, philosopher, 1956

Free-dom – Aisi Azadi Aur Kahan

S P Singh

DATELINE FREE-DOM: In a Kingdom, you do as the king tells you. And in serfdom, you serve as a loyal serf. In a politician's fiefdom, you do his bidding. But then aren't we all citizens of another -dom? Free-dom?

Welcome to free-dom, the land of the free. Where every thing comes for free. Little do we realise but in a country where millions fail to eke out two square meals a day, doesn't the thriving tradition of langar personify this spirit of free-dom?

But then, ideally, in a free-dom, shouldn't then there be a langar on, forever, for everything?

But, of course, there is a langar on. It's just that you didn't notice. Let us walk you through free-dom's innumerable alleyways where freebies linger around every corner. Be a free spirit, and partake please from the freebie langar.

Incoming has been free for so long so didn't even notice, but spam you did, of course. That's free, dear. All of it, and there's some more coming. Number of free-to-air channels in free-dom is on an upswing, just get another free topping on your pizza, open the free coke that came with it and slouch before a TV set. Unless, of course, you are really in a mood for something different and have pocketed a free condom from that vending machine.

Interest-free loans interest you so much, free eye camps try to catch your eye, free saplings are dime a dozen, plant ‘em or not. Or plant stories. PR stories come free.

Just check your free broadband connection in the office and you will find free-dom’s boundaries are sprawling ever further. Spread the word, and advice is free in this –dom. Or spread the word about other people, and it comes back refurbished as gossip, free and spicy. Peeps into other people’s lives have been free for so long that we all know who gobbled the apple in paradise.

Oil may touch 100 dollars a barrel (ouch! that hurt!) but the air in your tier will still come for free. Much like the pulse polio drops for which Amitabh Bachhan invites you so lovingly to partake. Phew! these days he is even giving out couple of crores in cash too, free!

So celebrate the spirit of free-dom. You did get to read this piece free. No?■

August 14, 2005

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Bernard Newman’s The New Europe includes a story of a professor at a cosmopolitan university who set his class to writing a thesis on the general subject of “The Elephant.” The Englishman devoted his essay to, “The Elephant and How to Hunt Him.” The Frenchman considered “The Strange Love Life of the Elephant.” The German entitled his tract, “Are Elephants Aryan – and Can they be Eaten?” The Russian produced, “The Elephant – Does it Exist?” The Pole, whose piece was as long as all the others put together, wrote on, “The Elephant and the Polish Question.”

A London newspaper asked a noted British novelist and an equally distinguished American poet to record their choices of the ten most beautiful words in the English language. The British selection was: carnation, azure, peril, moon, forlorn, heart, silence, shadow, April and apricot. The American choice was: dawn, hush, lullaby, murmuring, tranquil, mist, luminous, chimes, golden and melody.

A poet came into the Doubleday office and asked, “What do you pay for blank verse?” The telephone operator had the proper reply: “Blank cheques.”

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